I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
