party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
