I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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