Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
