in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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