hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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