i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
