Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Randomize
