I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He keeps bees of course he's weird
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
