She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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