did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
