forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
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Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
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