You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
