it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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