Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I just had sex on a roof
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
