Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
