Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize