How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Randomize
