Your tits are I can't wait for
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
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