i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
