I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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