if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize