Where are you?
In a non slutty way
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
