Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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