I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
