the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
