Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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