I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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