Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
