What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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