your thong is hanging out like whoa
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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