it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
