On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
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