He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
