the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
where are you?
Hypothermia
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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