The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
As shirtless as possible
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
