i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
