I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Need sex. Gaining weight.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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