I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
soo... how was my night?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
