After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I enjoy the company of your penis
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
