it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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