There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize