is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
