i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
