someone owes me an orgasm
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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