Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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