ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize