i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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