hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Randomize
