But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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