I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
