put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Randomize