I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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