I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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