so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
