Don't you send me to vm
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
