Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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