i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
