I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
