sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
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You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
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Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
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