Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
