found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
