Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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