The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
