I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
she smelled like a LAN party
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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